Ranking Friends

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"Can we be more than friends?" "Oh you mean like best friends...?"

This was one of the tweets on my timeline yesterday. I was like, seriously? I don't understand what is this necessity to rank friends as best, better, or good. Friends are just that "friends", why to add an adjective/adverb to them and make it all complicated. I'm not saying this coz I'm intimacy-phobic but all of you must have noticed atleast once in your lifetime that even the bestest (if that's a word) of them have not been there in a very difficult period of time while some of them who just happen to be among your list of friends have proved otherwise and have assisted you in your times of crisis. If the so called "bestest friend" had a genuine reason for not being able to help you then that's all together something else, which I'm not talking about right now, but what if there was absolutely no reason and a lame excuse involved in order to avoid helping you? what then? and what does that say about your "best friend" well, I'll leave you to wonder about that coz I'm not going to use abuses in my post.

What is a "best friend" really? according to me everybody falls under the "use n throw" category, meaning, you help them:they help you and vice versa, and there's nothing to say that a best friend always has to help you either, then what is it all about, you ask? I think it is about being there for you (atleast) during your highs and lows. Also, there's no such thing as a "best friend" without an ulterior motive, atleast that's what I think, maybe I'm wrong and I'm not targeting anyone here (especially not anybody from my list of friends, both online and realtime) I'm just generalizing the so called best friendship in modern generation. Maybe we could categorize friends as the one's who like to go shopping with us and the one's who gather together to bitch about life, or the one's who don't expect anything from you but are always there for you in times of need etc., you would say that these are some real good categories compared to something so meaningless as good, better or best, coz I have really seen people who mooch off their friends being called "best friend", have people become so selfish that the words "best friend" have come down to that? and after seeing that don't you think these words have no meaning at all? they are just thrown away at anybody and everybody.

Human mind is the ficklest, if a person has been there for you in a crisis then that's your "best friend" for that period of your life and when the same person has not been there for another crisis then they're bad again? I think the words "best friend" are highly overrated coz from what I have seen more than half the population don't mean it when they say it (there's something called impulse and out of situational emotion they might just dole it out most of the time), so the meaning definitely changes depending on the situation and the person involved.

Apart from this, if we're called a best friend by someone then our friendship responsibilities increase as do the expectations of our friends and maintaining that rank is as difficult as ranking our friends in the first place. Some people whom I asked about this concept also said that its really difficult to maintain the stature of being called someone's best friend. If u ask me, why bother, don't rank friends, the words "best friend" sound so childish and high-school to me, they must have definitely been introduced by a pimply teenager whose emotions are ruled by hormones running a riot. Being best is like being perfect and there is no such thing as being perfect. Life happens, friends come and go, there's no saying that the person you once called ur best friend will remain by your side forever coz sometimes even if they want to, they might not be able to coz they might have moved to another side of the planet and that doesn't make them less of a friend but you might not call them your best friend anymore coz they are physically no longer there for you. So let me end this now and say ciao while you decide who your "best friend" or "just friend" is ;)

You can have million of friends, but you can only count on your fingers who has been true to you and loves you for what you are - Anonymous.


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10 comments:

kittymatti said...

I totally agree with u! can never call someone bestest friend :)

rads said...

@kittymatti: Thanks Preethi :)

A said...

If I call someone friend, he/she is my best friend..so I have a lot of best friends and a lot of acquaintances. I agree with you

Ramesh said...

Mmmmmm. Not so sure. There may not be a best friend, but surely there are some who are closer than other. Still an interesting point of view.

rads said...

@A: There you go again, the words "best friend" seems nobody is able to get rid of them but I think you understood my point and I'm glad you agree :)

rads said...

@Ramesh: Are close friends, best friends? I donno...sometimes even not so close friends could become close situationally...it all depends..

Priya said...

"there's no such thing as a "best friend" without an ulterior motive"
Loved this line. Very nice post!
I think people like to label stuff. Can't all friends just be 'friends' without any good or bad or best or worst?
Every friend is the best in his own way for me!!

rads said...

@Priya: Thanks :) exactly my point!

ಅಶ್ವಿನಿ said...

Exactly what was running in my mind but had not come into writing is what I read in this beautiful post. Excetpionally true! every line of it.

rads said...

@Aswini: Thanks :) I'm glad you're with me on this..