Respect Yourself and Others will Follow

This was told to me once by a wise friend of mine coz I always come off as a too modest kind of person and never credit myself for anything even when I know that I deserve it. But by the time I decide and do it the credit is already claimed by someone else. I also let others lead me most of the time and push me around too much. Sadly she was the only friend who observed my defect and told me bluntly that I lack self respect and in order to be noticed and treated like equals it is important to respect oneself first.

Though I didn't care much for what she said and thought she was just preaching me some gyaan I've come to realize over the years that it so true. It isn't easy to understand at first coz self respect isn't about being bossy and claiming your rights, its about being liked and respected by others and getting what is rightfully yours. Many of my pals whom I once have been foolish enough to call best friends have treated me like a chamcha (kind of like a slave) who gets pushed around and acts on their every beck and call. The reason I let them do is becoz I thought it would be rude not to help friends and I'm a nice person. But taking advantage of that is second nature to many people and they do that coz we let them do it. Its always about what they want and when they want. And by the time you realize that you've been mistreated its too late. Once you get there its not so easy coming back unless you want to break the friendship. Since I didn't want that I continued to let them do what they wanted. On many occasions I've been blamed by elders for something they did. How effing irritating is that. I just help these people and then I'm blamed even though I didn't even like doing it in the first place. Its like you did everything right and still treated like a waste basket.

Now I know that trying to get someone's attention is not what will get you theirs but only when you respect yourself and show them this is what you are will you be recognized, and later appreciated. But you should also know that respecting yourself does not mean becoming the devil and doing exactly what those bossy friends have been doing. You just have to pose some limits to yourself and others. Never do anything that will later get you blamed or rip off your pride in front of others. Never get sucked into the amazing marketing skills of bossy friends and do whatever they ask you to do. Do something only if you think it is the right thing to do and if it will boost your likability as a person. Don't be a basket case.

You can do all you want to do and think you're doing the right thing but in some cases restricting yourself is actually respecting yourself and your existence as a human being. So anybody who's being treated like a slave go search and get your self respect, it should still be somewhere around you. Now stick it to your shoulders and act accordingly.

You may also like


Kinara :) said...

Thanks for sharing this!
It was like I was re-visiting myself!:)
And yeah, it will surely help me!

rads said...

@Kinara: I guess many ppl face this issue. Glad I could be of help :)

krutika said...

Good one..i really can count some people in my list who really should follow this tip..some really have their inferiority complex which really affects the people around them too..

I feel It will be better if its a short para's as sometimes i miss words reading as a whole..jus a suggestion:)

rads said...

@krutika: I do try to do simple and short sentences but when I start writing its like my hands have their own way, they just go on typing on their own and the words keep flowing and I really have no control on that, so can't really help u there, sorry :) But glad you read the post. Welcome to my blog.

Ramesh said...

True True. Minus self respect, a person is a nothing.

Alternating "Psychobabble" with Giveaways is certainly unique positioning for a blog !!

rads said...

@Ramesh: I don't really have a particular design or plan of what I post on my blog, alternating those two was just a coincidence :)