To Want Until U Dont

26 Comments
I got something yesterday that I have been crazily wanting for so long and now that I have it, I do not know why I wanted it so much in the first place and I realized that I will not be using it for more than a few times. After having it for a few weeks now, I have just used it twice and at the beginning I just stared at it thinking what to do with it and after a few more days I stopped doing that too. Now I just think its a waste of space and cannot wait to dump it in some corner until I find a proper way to make it useful.

I think many people will associate with the above paragraph coz its about nothing in particular and is just a generalization.

I often realize that I buy a lot of things thinking I'll die if I don't get it and keep dreaming about them madly hunting for deals all over the place and then when I finally get them, I really don't get what all the craziness was about in the first place. Sometimes I'm just like "what was I thinking?" And I can give hundreds of examples for the stuff I got this way. But one example could be, wanting to watch a movie/concert so badly that you pay some mega bucks to get black tickets and when you see it you don't understand anymore why you went so crazy and what the hype was all about. Most of the time, I find myself giving away stuff that I bought thinking "I'll die if I didn't get this one". Why then did I even buy it in the first place, God knows.

It just feels insane and weird to want something badly and then not know why, and not care about it afterwards. This just sums up my post title to want something until you don't. Similarly there are a lot of things in life that we madly run after to achieve them and then when we acquire it once, we just don't even care about it anymore and we start looking for new things. Sometimes we don't even remember that we have worked so hard to achieve something. Why then, I wonder, do we go after something so much and eat, sleep, dream, plan, and think of it so much when later in life we don't even recognize it?

Is human nature such? or am I a weirdo? I think not coz I have seen many people, in fact a lot of them from my family and friends, who have behaved this way many a times.

I know a lot of junkies like me who go mad for useless stuff and realize later that they went gaga over nothing. Maybe sometimes we just need us to want things to keep us sane coz I know a lot of us succumb to retail therapy for a way to feel something and keep us grounded from going insane during a crisis. And by knowing that we want all that stuff we justify our insanity in a weird, and might I add perverse way.

But you don't have to be a junkie to behave this way coz this doesn't just include crazy shoppers. It also includes people who keep going after things like, say for example, getting an engineering seat. They work so hard, stay late at nights, stop talking to friends, never let anybody or anything get in their way, and lock themselves up in their study rooms. But once they get that seat in a world renown college, they don't know what to do with it and sometimes they don't even know why they worked so hard to get it either. Its just like its an in thing to do, and its a question of parents honor, or whatever, it could be because of a hundred other things but you don't understand it anymore. And sometime later in life when you get married and have kids you don't even remember or recognize it anymore. Nobody who has then praised you will remember it or recognize it either. Then you realize, maybe you didn't really want it so badly after all. Then what was the hungama all about?

Maybe its all because of this hazy and artificial world we're living in where people, companies, or just existence requires and demands that we want and crave all these things. A family member who once almost died and returned back to life (thank God), told us that when she knew she was almost going to die, she didn't remember anything or anyone, not her husband, not her daughters, not a single thing (and I know a thousand things she craved badly in her life) came to her mind. She now realizes its all for nothing and we're just living in a fake world of 'maya'. To want something so badly until you realize you don't anymore is a mystery indeed.

So how many of you reading this want something so badly that you achieve it by hook or crook and later realize that you don't anymore? Share your tales, I'd love to hear from you.


You may also like

26 comments:

Pranita said...

OMG! U spoke my mind! More than the thing itself, it's the chase that we actually love.
That is why the idea of having something or the thot of wat we wud do if we had it is so enchanting.. we love tht feeling.. that chase. But once u get it n d chase is over, then wat? A new chase n a new thought!
Loved the post... If this is being weird, then u hav company my lady! ;)

Anu Russell said...

So this past year and a half I did something similar. I wanted an Ipad and since I had waited 6 months after Ipad 2 release I told I will wait for the next one. I waited, waited, waited and then my birthday came and hubby got me a black ipad...I took it and left it in the living room and did not touch it for three days...in the boz :(. Hubby got super mad...then I told him, I wanted white not black...so now a white one is coming and i am not sure I am going to enjoy it either...I have lost enthu to use an ipad suddenly...i think the fun is all had in the wait...

JKHoNa said...

You see, there have been lot of things I have been craving for. But then I am good enough to postpone it by questioning it myself, What would happen if I don't get that? The answer normally doesn't show me major losses and then I avoid getting that thing. :)

Mak said...

It is we humans by nature it seems. I can't term myself & you as weirds because i am also the person as you are.
For example now am dying to watch ipl matches live in stadium and am sure once i return home i will be thinking why did i waste so much money & time. lol

Nice post rads

rads said...

@Pranita: So right, I do think its the chase we're interested in more than the subject of our craziness. Thanks :)

rads said...

@Anu: I know the feeling, we wait so much and dream of it so much an then when we get it its all for nothing. I totally understand your plight. Welcome to my blog :)

rads said...

Jkhona: WOW that's a great attitude, I think I should follow that too coz in the end I know that I wont die if I don't get something materialistic.

rads said...

@Mak: You belong to the same category as my husband..he wastes a lot of time watching cricket too and when he gets a headache he realizes that it was so not worth it. Thanks:)

Neha said...

Hi Rads, you have put it right. I've had a zillion experiences where I crave for something so much that after buying it, I realize what a waste it was in the first place. Sometimes, I end up buying things all because my friend has it!! Next time I head out to make the same mistake, I'll remember whether I truly need it or not :)

rads said...

@Neha: I guess no matter what the reason everybody has atleast one thing that they regret buying and thinking why they wanted it so much in the first place. Thanks for dropping by :)

Jerly said...

Its human nature..Marcel Proust has described it very well that the only real form of possession is imaginary possession. the only incentive to go after something is its inaccessability. We are so used to the miracles of nature..why? because we se it everyday. Noah during 40 days locked in the arc would have loved all things about nature because he couldnt see it.....

Kinara :) said...

While reading this one, I had that expression, HELL YEAH! SO TRUE!:)
Coming to the point of getting seat in engineering college, ask me! For months , I was like I will always go to this damn one : Now, that I am here, I no longer enjoy this thing!
Superbly summed up !
Just loved it.

subhorup dasgupta said...

I have this "greed" for books and journals. I tend to acquire indiscriminately and then exercise my discretion to assign them to a corner or the top shelf!! Could identify with the post a good deal!

Seema said...

Rads its really a nice article...you are right...and I am completely agree with you.I think its the chase we are interested in... not the subject

rads said...

@Jerly: Those are some pearls of wisdom...And it all makes so much sense...Thanks for commenting. Welcome to my blog :)

rads said...

@Kinara: I've been there and done that :) That's the reason I can now sum it all up :) Welcome to my blog.

rads said...

@Subhorup: I did that too, collect them just coz I'd like to acquire them and then forget about them.

rads said...

@Seema: Thanks :) Welcome to my blog.

Ramesh said...

Oh you hit upon a perfect point and said it beautifully. Just witness the number of comments on this post.

I once listened to a relgious discourse when the speaker narrated a story from the scriptures as to what is the nature of the animal called desire. He summed up by saying that desire was something that made you desperately want something, but having attained it produced disappointment on how low it really was and made you want higher. He concluded by saying that the only way to curtail desire is to set artifical limits.

You've said virtually the same thing.

Ramakant Pradhan said...

Very wise words. We just never seem to be content with our achievements. Instead, we keep hoping to reach something bigger, higher and thus miss being happy for the present.

Anonymous said...

What necessary words... super, a magnificent idea

rads said...

@Ramesh: WOW I wish I'd heard that speech. Thanks for summing it up though. I think that's pretty much what I wanted to say too although I just explained in the way I know how to. Thanks :)

rads said...

@Ramakant: True, we are living in such a world too where all what you said becomes necessary and we are infact living in the future coz obviously none of us seems to be content with the present. We are so obsessed with what happens tomorrow.

rads said...

@Anonymous: Thanks :) It'll be nice if you can leave your name and a link to your website if you have.

Rajesh Asarpota said...

Rads.. Could not be truer.. I know this feeling.. get it with clothes (yes, despite being a guy:)) and half the time never wear them.. Not sure why we do what we do, but then, we would not be what we are, if we were not.

rads said...

@Rajesh: Well said, I think this craziness is part of life and life wouldn't be so close to earth and so sane if the madness didn't exist.