Negativity & Self Realization

Most of the time I find people are not really negative per say but their presence in your life could have negative effects on you. And more than others I feel it is your thoughts, insecurities, and fears that make you have these negative feelings in life.

Nima (name changed for obvious reasons) was one such person in my life. She was the nicest and most optimistic person I knew. I liked the way she conducted herself with calm, and poise. She was always put together and had a confident personality. She was also really matured for her age. She was a natural charmer and guys loved being around her. She was pretty religious, devoted to her husband and very family oriented. She was a professional at work and very easy to work with. Sounds too good to be true? I know! Now, I don't know if she was really all that good and she could have been faking it all just so that she can get along with her colleagues without conflicts. I know she also curried favors from people around her with her charming personality. So maybe it was all a show; I decided to leave that thought open.

Now coming to the part where she became negative to me, well, to put it simply, she was all that I wanted to be. I considered her competition for a while until one day I realized that this girl was taking up too much of my time. She was always on my mind and I kept worrying about coming out a winner whenever I'm around her. I wanted people to notice me more than her and I wanted to get favors and compliments from everyone like she did. People generally liked her and were always concerned about her even in her absence. I've never seen anyone charm their way through people's lives like she did. But what I didn't realize was that I am a different person. I'm just not made that way and my wires are not really connected that way. And though I believed that people should like me for what I really am I also felt jealous and tried to be more like her. I went into this crazy obsession where I was trying to be somebody I am not. I just kept hating a nice person for causing this insanity in me. And this had to stop.

I'm a person who believes in having meaningful relationships with people and you cannot really have such relationships when you are being fake. You only get fake friends when you are pretending. People usually tend to like those who are similar to them. In short, "like attracts like". And I really do not want fake people in my life. I want people who are like me who are genuinely concerned and are honest. That doesn't mean I'm not a nice person; I'm just not faking being nice. When I'm nice and complimenting people they can be assured that it is a genuine and honest compliment.

After a lot of pep talk and self realization I understood that it is better to let it go and forget about Nima and such people who bring negativity in your life just by existing. It is not their fault and neither is it yours. My suggestion to deal with such people and situations is to stay away, avoid being around them, and just be yourself and stick to what you believe. Life is too short to stress and obsess over silly things like Nima and her positive charm, especially if it is causing negativity in your life. And who knows maybe she is fake after all and you might be stressing over a fraud.

How do you deal with such kind of negativity in your work place or in life? Let me know in the comments below. Thanks for reading this post :)

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